Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Lessons of Wise Women

I am always surprised at how in the corporate world we women don't really have each othe'rs back. In fact it's more the opposite. We all know that we women dress for each other but does that really come from a competitive streak or in the fact that we need approval from our same sexed peers. Because only they can understand how important looking our best can be - to us at least.

Over the years I have meet, worked with and learnt from all kinds of female colleagues. But there have been five amazing women that above being colleagues are also my dear, dear friends. I am admire them and I am so thankful for the lessons or my personal rules that they have taught me. This is my way of saying thank you for the lessons, for the listening and above all for being there for me.

1) work hard - The Rule of Achieving
Luck doesn't always save the day in your career. You have to work at it, put in the time but make sure you enjoy what you do. We spend so much time at our jobs with our colleagues that it works out best if we like them and the job. Working hard isn't a magic cure but it does show your inner character and that you believe in what you do. In some cases when everything else has been crazy work has been my safety net - the world where I know I am good at something and working hard boosts my confidence and helps me take that strength and tackle other things that aren't as straight forward to fix. I like working and I like doing a good job. I am thankful for this lesson because in all it taught me that working hard is needing in life and if you put your mind and energy to it you can do it!

2) stand up for yourself - The Rule of Independence
Growing up the one thing I knew without a doubt that a career could give me back was independence. I wanted to be able to take care of myself. Not in crazy 'no man can do for me what I can do for myself' but more in a care-free this is my life and if I want it I can work to get it. It might involve calling some people - drills and I still are not friends - and paying some money but in the end I feel good about it. The friend who taught me this lesson I admire so much having done it all on her own - sorting out the best mortgage, buying 2 houses - selling 1, setting up her own company and most importantly choosing her own life and they way she wants to live. So inspring!

3) caring, nuturing, listening - The Rules of Leadership
I thought for the longest time being a manager was about being tough. This was the example given by other ladies not fortunate enough to make the list. But this lady taught me that being a leader and managing others is about inspiring, mentoring and growing the talents of your team. As a leader you are only as good as your team. The reason you get the big bucks if you are lucky is because you have fight for the team in the tough times and build the team in good times. I learned that it is ok to be a woman in business and be womanly in fact we need more womanly leaders like that around us. Be the manager you would have wanted along the way whilst your were building your career. And remember you are only as good as your team and by believing in the team it doesn't mean you won't shine on your own!

4) use your personality - The Rule of Being Your Best You
Your personality is the most percious thing you have - it makes you you so unique and wonderful to have on this world. The lady who taught me this lets her creativity speak having written books, being a star at behavioural science but above all being my fairy godmother who believes in me - my personality, my talents, my weaknesses just me all of me. She taught me to use my personality and talents to my advantage in my career and explore new opportunities. The corporate world can sometimes feel like you have to conform to the situation around you and whilst I believe in flexiblity - stay true to you. If you know who you are and what you are good and not so great at you can make smarter choices which I fundamentally believe is essential to being happy.

 5) reassess - The Rule of Resetting
We all have our coping mechanisms some times it can be hiding in our work, fleeing in a large glass of wine, or drifting off whilst watching a good chick flick. Whatever floats your boat I say. So when you do look in the mirror and think this isn't me and realize you need to get back to the you that you love and adore. One darling lady said to me it is a simple as resetting. Just like a computer CTL + ALT + DEL and begin again. Like a minature reinvention. I found her words so inspiring - don't make the world or issue bigger than it is you're a woman of the world now just go and be you again. Don't fret in the feeling that you will be socialable again when you as if by magic have Kim Kardashian's body but the reality even Kim has hang ups too. So just reset and get back to living the best version of your life. It's your life - do with it what you like!

So in conclusion I hope you find darling  wise women to pass on equally meaningful lessons. In the meantime you can borrow mine.

love x



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