Back from beyond ...

It has been ages ... I know but I lost my mojo!

Really shocking actually, here I am supposed career girl, happy go lucky, cheerful and stylishly smart but then - boom - as out of no where the dreaded word ... burnout. I am still not comfortable with that word because it makes me think of a match burnt to a crisp with no chance of relighting. But that isnt the case for me. It is more a case of losing energy and not being able to re-egnite. Not getting excited or enthusiastic about things that normally thrill me - like fashion or writing on my blog.

But that was then this is now... and I am back - well in baby steps. Working on my energy and the things that make me happy. Revisiting my world. and my work. Maybe this is the dreaded pre-40 crisis that I am feeling. Or maybe just the outcome of 15 years in advertising as an account person being dealt it by both sides. Hmmm I will think that one through and whilst I am still coming to a conclusion I will be back to writing and sharing what I find fashionably inspiring!

Get ready - I am back!

She's a lady ...

Source: Dailymail.co.uk

Source: Dailymail.co.uk

Although fashion in recent years has been rekindling lady-like fashion from decades ago - with Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton at the forefront -  I cant help but wonder does it really translate to today's woman. In the cruel business world does being lady-like help or work against a girl about town? Or is it maybe lady-like in doses depending on the industry you are in?

Source: Louis Vuitton

For example Angela Merkel is without a doubt the strongest lady in Europe with the French president throwing her a flash of a smile or a nudge here and there as a show of partnership - saving the Euro and the world together. But does she come across as lady-like? It is really important for her? Or is she maybe in a boys club and needs a bit more masculinity to be taken seriously?

Same case, different rules - Christine Lagarde - granted is in pencil skirts and feminine fashion but does she strike you as lady-like? In the hard world of finance (let alone the politics that mix in) she being lady-like a good thing?

Source: Netaporter.com

And what is lady-like in today's world anyway? Am I meant to be the one in a meeting to ask if anyone wishes anything else to drink? Am I supposed to wait for some one to hold the door for me? When trying to make a point do I gently nudge my male colleagues and make it seem like it was their idea? Ok some of these examples could be straight out of  Mona Lisa's Smile but what I am trying to say is that today's world means lady-like is refined, smart, savvy and ballsy with a touch of male attitude and a splash of rough and ready. The world demands a clever approach for anyone really and maybe the lady-like look in fashion is just that a clever approach in today's world. Perhaps the gentle touch a hint of curve and the illusion of skin flahsing through are a new hint of mystery that we havent seen earlier - in the years of bandage style minidress - stunning and seductive but less subtle. The midi length in flowy dresses add for kicks and twirls. In my opinion fashion makes you feel confident - a better version of yourself. Just what you need really to take the world by storm.  I think I will be putting lady-like fashion to the test and watching for results...with the ultimate result being how I feel. We shall see.

Source. Netaporter.com

PS one last comment just because you're a lady doesn't mean you can't mix in a but of the femme fatale...seductive comes in various lengths and styles - now won't that be fun experimenting with.

Finding your true self - hello style

Just last week I was really amazed to see this group of girls (maybe just 20) - obviously a tight friend group but also each one with a strong personal and different style. One was the rocker chick with faux leather leggings, big silver jewellery, denim jacket and funky boots. The other tailored trousers, courts and a fitted jacket - not suity but more of a polished look. And finally the third in a boho chique dark floral dress and a faux fur gilet. All super cute and so different.

It was their differences that intriqued me. Most of my friends have more style similarities - makes it easier and more difficult whilst shopping. You know what stores to head out to but then if you have a similar size there is a the element of having to be quick to claim the must have item. Or else your darling friend might snag it.

But more than that I was impressed that they had such a outspoken style. It took me ages to find my true self - my style and to this day I still go astray every now and again. Sorry but it is true, for example I am tempted by the leather trouser look but in all seriousness what am I thinking. Sausage is never a good look. So unless my dieting regime kicks in and produces wonders. I need to step away from anything that remotely resembles a leather trouser.

Source: Twitting Stars

So how do girls come into their own so soon? Am I jealous? Yeah kind of. Young ladies like Olivia Palermo baffle and inspire me. 12 years my junior (pheww I am old) but with so much creativity. I had never thought of some of the combinations that young lady comes up with.

Source: Marieclaire.com

And take Alexa Chung - still in her twenties and yet has her young Mulberry bag to underline the impact she has on style and trends. Not my personal inspiration but how many girls have you now seen sporting the dark roots, light tips look?

I think it so groovy to see these younger girls already experimenting with trends and finding what they like and suits them. I wish there was more individuality out there. So please if you're reading this - be true to yourself, you have to fit the mold and if you are a mum as hard as it may be (and how horrific you may find it) encouraging a little self expression isnt a bad thing....  most of the time...

Lotions and Potions - Oh My!

Hi my name is Natalie and I am sucker for the promise of youth, small pores, glowing skin, plumpness, a flawless finish, no fine lines (or line period), no dark circles - the list is endless.

I go into the cosmetics section and feel a rush like a kid in a very expensive overly promising cnady story. The rush is unreal. And just flipping through a magazine is some times too much to handle. The idea of enteral youth just at my finger tips if I buy this new serum or anti-aging hair repair. Its inspiring and scary that the same time. I wonder if my mother knew that her hair could age her (not the haircut no the hair strands themselves) or that is she bleached her teeth more that too would make her look younger. There is so much we can do or we can think of it is seriously overwhelming at times. With the likes of Demi Moore, Haley Barry, Sharon Stone - the benchmark is high and aging gracefully doesnt really exist not ageing that's the secret.

So the latest list of must haves I dont know where to begin. So I grabbed the nearest UK Marie Claire to see how I get on.

• Hmm - baby doll eyes - not sure with that hair I am thinking the mascara is not for me. I am still loyal to my Faux Cils YSL although the new shocking one does make me think of cheating. But its not really cheating is it? YSL wont really mind would he?

• Dior Forever - perfect foundation Miss Portman does look flawless but not entirely sure when there is the cheap alternative from Max Factor with serum and foundation in one. The lazy girl's new best friend. Hmmm. Need to think this one through. When there is also Revlon Age Defying. This one has DNA technology and 96% of women thought something. Do I agree with them? Do I want to be one of many. Many cant be wrong can they? But then there is Teint Miracle from Lancome which can make Julia Roberts go from Blonde to Brunette with flawless, glowing skin. Could that work for me?

• What about finding the one? Apparently Boots can help with their face cream that reduces deep wrinkles. Hmm I am srue they are right nothing scares a man away like a single, deep -wrinkled 37 year old. Scarier than Fright Night I am sure.

• And then of course there is Visionnaire which has me torn. I love love love Genefique how can Visionnaire replace my love unless I can combine them to boost my love. A greater love. Is it possible? Doesnt Lancome realize the pressure they putting on me. I want them both. Help what to do?

And this my friends is why I struggle with lotions and potions...

Fashion Frenzy

I just dont understand myself sometimes. I have my preferences when it comes to fashion or my flat and none of them include multi-coloured knitwear or tablewear but the prospect of discount designer sends me into an uncontrolable frenzy. The only salvation really is that Target doesnt ship to Europe. (BTW Global market place apparently not if you are an American company) so I was saved from myself and the damage I could have caused.

So what is - the designer discount? But I really desperately needed a Missoni swimsuit there is the solution of saving up for it (I know novel idea but a recessionista with a strong will should at the very least consider it), is it the limited edition factor? I didnt have the same excitement at the thought of H&M Lavin, Jimmy Choo, Stella McCartney. So is it maybe the designer itself? Retrospectively I should have been more interested in some of the H&M collaborations but Target does achieve really top collaboration - Zac Posen, Rodarte, Paul & Joe and now Missoni to name but a few that just strike a cord with the dream fashionista that I tend to think that I am (even if only in my dreams).

And so I wonder who really shops for these discount duds? Is it a real girl chance at a Jimmy Choo set of heels or bag? Doesnt some one with a respect for design, creation, and craftmanship treasure the product and its uniqueness. My major designer extravangza tends to be the bag never to make for feel fat and a real statement piece it is my bit of luxury that is attainable even save-able. But with more and more similar bags being carried (LV monogram anyone? and I have them too so just as to blame) around it is losing its appeal and specialness in a way. Louis Vuitton themselves recently announced a re-assessment of price points to re-establish the luxury distinction.

So isnt this a bit of a catch 22? But with a recession on the cards again - who cares...

Friendship - Nature or Nuture?

Just recently through the amazing phenomon Facebook I got back in touch with friends from years ago - some as far back as elementary school and others from University making me realize just how global and mobile our world has become. But is social media changing the way we are, make and maintain friends?

Everyone has had the random friend invite from the guy or gal you just dont know (and not in that Friday Night - we kissed but I forgot sense no the real I just have no clue who you are sense). Now why would you do that? Surely the idea is to be in touch and part of the lives of people you are care about, are interested in and or want to stay in touch with. Maybe I am just getting old and to me some random wanting to be my 'friend' without knowing me seems a little well hmmmm what's the word - random. But is social media helping us maintain friendships?

I once read (please dont ask for the source) that we change our friends every 7 years like the closet clear out thing that I should consider doing but find really unsettling. Just recently I missed that top that I am sure I had prior to my move back to NL so was it really wise to throw it out??? So I cant do it. I cant unfriend friends. I cant even do the guy thing and stop calling. I truly believe in growing, watering and feeding friendships. Doesnt mean that I see my friends all the time but when you are the one to leave - i.e. move - you need to invest. So thank FB for saving me a few Euros on the phone bills. Because that to me is the sad thing - lives go on, and when you move you need to build a new life and so at times you end up missing and romanticising the old one. So when you are then the one wanting to stay in touch it is sometimes a little sad that you are the only having to call or email or text or in my case send smoke signals. But I get it which is why I adore technology for making it easier to reach people and let my darling friends know I miss them, care about them, think of them. So if you are reading this you have been told mwuahhh.

I dont understand people who just naturally let friendship grow and become whatever they like. Surely that isnt how you would treat your hair, nails, garden - insert any suitable comparison - so why friendship. It's not a given and like a relationship needs a bit of love and attention.

That said - let's be honest the best friendships are those that you can leave neglected for a long while and pick up where you left off. Now if only my hair would do that.

lots of love friends x

My Life - My Fashion

So a little while back it was Labour Day (US public holiday) and according to US fashion laws - the kind that only films like Serial Mom could enforce - you should no longer wear white. But Summer last until September 23rd this year so surely there is a bit of flexibility here, no?

So it occurs to me where did fashion rules come from and isnt the whole idea of discovering your own style about breaking these rules? Ages ago who would have dared to combine silver and gold accessories or worse yet black and dark blue or even combine prints. And it makes me wonder are there women out there still sticking to these rules for no real reason?

Last weekend at a girlie lunch (the best kind) we talked about white jeans and when and when not to wear them - my darling sister believes to only wear them when it is sunny but that could mean summer, fall, winter or spring.

It makes me think that rules arent really rules more guidance and it should be completely up to the individual to deal with these so - called rules in whatever way you see fit. Personally I love white and wore white in winter with black tights and a black jacket (thank you darling Kate Moss for the inspiration) and I adore midnight blue that shimmers against black trousers - it gives depth, allure and a sense of occasion (btw in my opinion trousers, dresses whichever you like) and silver and gold all the time - I really can hardly decide and with my steel and gold Baume & Mercier watch who needs to. The only one I struggle with is a mix of prints - I find myself courageous when I combine leopard print heels with a teal dress but the next step is my star print blouse (black & white) and my black pencil skirt paired with my leopard kitten heels.
Baby steps ladies - baby steps ....

good luck creating your rules and breaking them - tell me how you get on x

new catchphrase: New York Skinny

Having read the latest hype regarding the Paris/ New York divide in skinniness. It got me thinking. Having lived in New York and Paris (although admittedly always with international friends) you cant help but notice the skinniness that surrounds you and as a curvy girl that can be tricky to deal with.

My personal opinion is that their skinniness comes from two fundamentally different approaches to life. The Parisian gals are deer like, gamin in search of the pouty seductress whereas for me the New Yorker is focussed, drivenand determined. That's not to say skinny on both sides of the spectrum requires commitment but to me it is an overall feeling. Skinny in Paris means only indulging when appropriate and can mean living of cigarettes and espresson during the day in preparation for dinner but ideally no exercise that doesnt help the calves and in New York means strict choices no carbs in liquid or solid form, exercising relgiously. I admire both forms for their dedication. Me I get it wrong on both sides - with the special treats like cheese, Cotes de Provence Rose, Moelleux au Chocolat or on the atlantic Eggs Benedict. But I do want to make smarter choices and live more 20/80 than 50/50.

I wonder how much the female role models in our world play a role in all of this. If your mum told you to watch the sweets or commented as you were growing up does that heighten your sensivity? Or if you mum herself was always watching her weight is it just something that was passed on? My mum embraced motherhood and say it as a separate part to being attractive in the way her former self was. She indulged. When we moved back to Holland from the States she went overboard on all the Dutch goodies she had missed and so did we. She did look for comfort food and I do it too. But I know this things so why cant I break the spiral? Any tips? Mind you my goal is sexy, curvy and healthy so all about balance. But I do see the benefits.

To me the skinny skinny approach does have its benefits and does require serious dedication and I sadly need more discpline. That sad I am off on a French holiday next week and I will dig the bread basket, will have the summer wine, will have a pudding if the urge strikes me and even though I am at the beach I wont feel guilty (at least not until I get home). I will admire the amazing younger gals around and will be inspired to do better but whilst I am there - HELLO let's enjoy!
une autre verre de rose svp

Waiting for September

It may sound strange but I find this that awkward time between summer and autumn, when you find yourself in fashion limbo. Do I start dreaming of fall fashions to come? Do I linger in the feeling that summer is still here and enjoy the last of the summer wine?

Thankfully this year I am lucky enough to have a mini sun break ahead of me so I can still dream of all the lovely flowly bright, light maxi dresses until my heart is content but admittedly I have headed to the news agents a few times this week to see if my fashion mags highly awaited September issues have arrived. I will admit I was mortified this morning when I asked when they were expecting to receive the US Vogue and the woman behind the counter just glazed over and mumbled something along the lines of 'uh I dont know'.

Surely with me there are more fashionista in dreaming (ie. those a little less financial afluent than their counterpart the fashionista in making) that are looking out for this biblic issue to appear.

So what is it about september issues of Instyle, Red, Glamour, Vogue, Elle - this list is endless that makes my heart beat faster? Easy - EYE CANDY! Lusting after the next must haves, seeing how the figure enviable and fashion savy combine it all to make me dream even further.

It does make me wonder if we women say we dress for each other in some kind of subconcious competition self expression who is the fashionista dressing for. Her peers? Me? Surely it cant be men. I love the articles about our female latest fashion must haves and the male take on it all with my loved wedges never making the male top list. Ahhh but height and comfort cant be beat in my book. Back to the fashionista if she is dressing for me, honey let me tell you - you win. Hands down I bow to thee. Thank you for brighting my september, making me long for the september issues and inspiring my fashion take every season again.
Where would I be without you?
much love.

Back Online

Hi all -
sorry it has been a little quiet recently. I have been sick and off on holiday so too much relaxing not much writing. That said I get loads of inspiration... (see Cannespiration). So hopefully there is much to tell and to keep you entertained.
Much love - Natalie xxx

People Watching - Rude or Reality?

Come on we all do it! And alot of us love it - just sitting in a cafe, on a train, in a bar or on the beach watching the world go by and with it the people in it. Some of them inspire us, others make us envious, some make us cringe and some make us remember we dont have it so bad ourselves.

I am fascinated by others sense of style, poise and charisma - not so much to capture it on film for recongition but for personal inspiration. But then I wonder how does one properly people watch? I have family members - names for their own protection will be omitted - who actually turn around a follow the person they are observing. Surely the idea of observing is to be done subtly and not to be let the other person feel watching or worse stared at.

I once was on a girly weekend out in London with my cousin - who is a slender, tall, capivating - yet I am not jealous. As we went shopping down the Kings Road we caught the bus to save our soles (shoes of course) only to have a mother and daughter so intently stare at my cousin that she felt awkward unsure of herself. I being the outspoken, opinated person I am had to comment - my best comment was : 'My mother always told me not to stare, apparently yours didnt'. I know very clever right. But it made me angry - no matter what we personally think of another person's hair, shoes, handbag etc it should never be our intent to stare and make someone else feel uncomfortable. So at risk of sounding silly I do tell people if I think they have a particularly lovely handbag that I cant help but stare at (envy is tricky) something.

So please if you do stare not a problem but be gracious and acknowlegde it ...

Friend Envy

Maybe envy isnt the right word - maybe it is admiration.

Dont get me wrong I have the most amazing friends but you get into situations, go to parties and you see this amazing tight knit big group of friends. They have grown up together know each others strengths and weaknesses and as a person who is a global trotter my friends are spread all over. So seeing this huge group of friends makes me envious. Maybe I was daunted by the amount, maybe I havent calculated my number but because I dont have it I love the romance and history of childhood sandbox friends.

My girlfriends and I joke that we would love for our kids to play together but the undiscussed hint there is that the grown ups get to play too. Be it long boozy lunches or bbq sessions when the kids are asleep. Still issue in my daydreaming is that I am behind the curve on that one but that is the beauty daydreaming.

Its funny with so many films out right now dedicated to the friendship factor on so many levels... from the Hangover to Bridesmaids to even Harry Potter really - from my perspective I think because the magic is the fantastic stories - embarrassing, funny, touching, intimate, argumentative and of course drunken that friendship brings. It builds an indestructible bond that when you nourish it and acknowledge it and  cherish it friendship can last. I hope my friends know I cherish them, value them and appreciate them.

So even if I succumb to a bit of envy when I see the cool friend group and maybe in the moment forget my cool friends all it takes is a little blog for me to realise how special my friendship are.

much love x

White shoes for summer - does not mean bridal!

So we have passed June 21st and by all accounts white shoes are now the norm.

Although having seen Beyonce's platforms at Harrods I do think nude deserves fair consideration but then I saw them the pearly iridescent reminiscent of a wedding do no in fact of the bride. And all I could think was NO don't do it. In this example witnessed this morning the victim had also opted for dark non real looking skin coloured tights and wait for it crossing ankle straps. Nothing says wurstchen (german for small sausage) like tight, skin cutting, leg shortening ankle straps.

So what is one to do? How to help the victim in question because self recognition isn't working? Approaching the matter head on - tricky after fashion, style and taste are unique to oneself. Just because I am mortified doesn't mean she doesn't love it.

So you dear fashion friend reading this you are my outlet. Thank you for letting me vent - I needed that.
And for now let's agree they only thing that should be pearly white are your teeth ;-)

Finding the one

It may seem like a unimportant search but asking any woman around and she will tell you it is a life long struggle - finding the perfect hairstylist or hairdresser.

Whether its not being able to agree on what colour approach to take or what just a few centimeters off the end means or experience with curly hair really is cutting more than once in a lifetime somehow it can be really tricky finding your perfect match - the one.

I have had hairdressers where I asked for a strawberry blonde glow to my hair only to leave having flame red in my opinion stoplight red hair. Not a look I can recommend. Or asking for goldhighlights all over and having two or three to frame my face only to ask the hair salon owner why there was this limited amout of highlights for her to reply because that's what I want. Needless to say I went home and did the highlights myself. Also not an approach I can recommend.

To me alot of it is communication. Bring a picture - not because you want to look like Gisele but because in your opinion that is golden beachy blonde - it helps to speak the same language with your stylist. Be honest if you have a deep rooted hatred for a bob with elegonated points at the front (think VB lob) than tell him or her if you dont you might end up leaving the salon unhappy something that could have easily been taken care of.

Recently I went to my old salon in London nothing too posh but somewhere they do listen and do take different approaches to colour. Even there I looked in the mirror and said wow its darker than had expected but my stylist warned me and asked me to be a little patient - wait for the colour to settle and then if unhappy we can change it. That gave me the confidence to wait it out - be patient even if I did know 'fi'xing' it wasnt an option (I mean bad enough to tell people that I got my hair done in London it would be so much worse to say I had to fly back to have it fixed) so I did what is the ultimate tip in hairdressing - I trusted my stylist. And sure enough the colour is fantastic now. I love it!

So ladies - be honest - talk about what you want and find someone you trust and you will have found the one!

Now hang on to them - happy hairdays await!

Glamping - really?

Everyone has them those dreaded words that just send shivers down your spine. Mine is camping. I never did it as a child or in teenage years so what the appeal is - is truly beyond me. The idea of having to sleep on the cold near ground, in a potentially damp sleeping bag with the likeliness that bugs or even wilder animals could come knocking freaks me out but the loo and shower situation is to me the worst. I just dont get it when a perfectly good b&b or hotel is usually around the corner where the investement of a good nights sleep is so worth the opportunity cost calculation.

But then a new word appeared on the horizon that just puzzles me... glamping. Really? Is it possible? Glamorous camping. Isnt that impossible to imply in the same word? I mean it still involves a tent. I did a quick google search a sure enough the word is everywhere. From the UK to France to even rural Holland - camp grounds are offering the idea of luxury camping.

Source: Camp Kerala www.campkerala.com

Even for mud-drench Glasto at the bargain price of 8.000 pounds you can do the hip festival experience in luxury. I needed to know more and I will admit it - on the website I am astonished. It looks heavenly - all white - from the tents to the duvets even to the residential dog. Ohhh lovely. But then reality sets in - it is Glasto. How does it stay white? Where are the loo's and showers? Is this just a mirage and it is still is porterpotty in reality. Still if one had to do the festival tour this has to be the way to do it.

But then I get to thinking camping - how does one dress for it. Obiously you cant roll in with your mongramed luggage cases so if camping means rucksacks what is glamping? And I repeat what does one wear? I cant do the Mossy approach to festival chic. Even for work I plan my wardrobe choices so if the idea of mud, ground and yuckiness comes into play I have no idea how to work it. Something I proved yesterday too. Outdoors day with work - and honestly I had nothing to wear so I ended up in uncomfortable trousers that keeping falling down given, ballet slippers that while cute I was cold and a plaid shirt (nothing says country like plaid) with the army inspired jacket wasnt what I would call convincing. So upon returning home that much needed glass of red and a hot bath were too lovely.

Conclusion - the outdoorsy country feel is alright for some but for me - I need a bath, wine and above all a hotel.

Dutch thinking... nightmare

Don't get me wrong I love the diversity of Holland, the people, the countryside, the beaches even shock dare I say the weather sometimes but these are also all the things I hate about Holland too. Particularly though the country has yet to grasp the concept of client services. I understand that using the US example is stretching it and may on occasion seem OTT but a complete lack of regard similar to the Parisian model where you have to be a bitch to get any service full stop is in my opinion the wrong approach as well.

So here I am stuck in front of a computer trying to buy a wedding present. I did leave it a little late but I had tried 2 weeks ago with no luck on the website front and thought armed with really mission like percision this time I would get there - in and out pressie bought happy couple in the make. Or so I thought.

I think with the amount of weddings attended in various countries I am an experienced wedding list shopper. But this has to be the most difficult experience so far.

First of all they hide the wedding list section so far under the layers of the website this in itself is saying 'you would be a fool to use this service'. If by miracle efforts you do find the location you need two bits of vital information the bride and/or grooms surname (check I know this) and the wedding date (hang on is this the civil service date or the church service or does it matter or help I feel this going wrong...) Thankfully I have both bits of date so I try a variation of options. Surname spelled together apart, civil service date, church service date NOTHING works. Ok keep clam there is always a customer service number to dial oh wait you have to know the location of the shop the couple registered with. Sorry what do I need? How on earth would I happen to have this info? Really? But I am reasonably committed to getting this sorted (it's a mission remember) so I ring anyway and make an edcuated guess. Oh no no one at the department to be reached - could it be that this is because it's a Saturday and they only attempted to help people on a week day? What do now? Abort mission? Retreat and rethink? Call customer service again? Then I have a bit of tour of the  website - it is great in the way that is does provide information in English but hang on if you are calling from abroad you're stuck - no access to the number (is this a clever way of punishing you for leaving the glorious Dutch soil?) and if you would again by divine intervention reach the wedding list you would have to guess your way around it because that bit of the service is in Dutch. But then a crystal bonbon tray is a crystal bonbon in any language... ok last attempt ring customer service AGAIN and enquire if maybe the department isnt reachable on a Saturday - bless the silly receptionist student who only has the cleverness to say - I do believe the department is closed today. Really sherlock - great help there. You think? All I can say I hope my fury doesn't where off by Monday. As when Monday rolls around - hell hath no fury like a woman wanting to shop!!!!!

Reality TV- really?

A while ago I had a random conversation with a 21 year old girl who had two missions in life: 1) live in Manhattan and find a weathly prince charming (need to note: that London wasn't an option as she had experience the WAG lifestyle in Liverpool so that was the UK done by her - I was shocked at how cruel life could be to my beloved city - but she obviously hadn't been to the best places) and 2) have her own reality TV series.

It got me thinking when did the world change? I understand that celebrities and the lifestyle that goes with it has been enchanting for years but the big reality TV boom has seemed to make it possible for wannabes, teen moms, formly fat people, c list celebrities to invent or re-invent themselves or shock horror actually build a career out of it. Think Kardashians and see how with a clever business sense you can rule the world.

I will admit that I too at my old age indulge in the reality TV hype - even if I am not in the age demographic for that specific programme. I had my own 2 mins of fame in MTV The Real World London - where all I did was giggle (such camera pressence not) and dance to later dubbed music that made my dance moves more resemble dad dancing (thanks MTV). But that was just a taste. The real interest kicked in much later, it all started by being stuck in a US hotel room. I was intrigued by programmes like 'My Super Sweet 16' (we moved out of the US before I could experience the thrill of driving my parents mad with the need for a super deluxe car, fabulous party - ideally with vast amounts of photographs of me looking ever so seductive at 16 naturally and the must have all ruling performer) and 'Laguna Beach'. Shortly after with the introduction of 'The Hills' I was hooked. I knew it wasn't real but I loved the atmosphere - the clothes, the bags, the drama and that only spread to 'The City' where the fashion is inspiring. I will admit it I think Olivia Palermo is a fashion asset and misrepresented in the ever so slightly scripted programme. But then came the Kardash franchise that just keeps spreading and I marvel at how far they have come. Let alone how far TV has come. I mean now if programmes like 'Jersey Shore' can lead to endorsement deals and other spin-offs that all feed into our need to see how the other half lives. Well who can blame young people of today thinking that this is the way to quick success. Here in the Netherlands TV makers have tried their hand at the formula only to realise the batter doesnt quite stick if you translate the ingredients. It is like a souffle that wont rise - sad but cut your loses and stick what your good at.

So I wander can reality TV inspire other ambitions that the quick rich plan. Recently Bethanny Frankel of the Real Housewives franchise (New York flavour) admitted her reason for joining the programme was entreprenurial. And good for her! Was it really so hard to admit that the business side is a real reason behind all these programmes that keep popping up. And be honest if you are going to open up your dirty laundry for the world to see - you might as well get something out of it yourselves!

So all those dreaming of celebrity I hope you have the goods to make and the right management to help get all there is to get out of it. But do consider other career options too - after all in the words of Heidi Klum - one minute you're in, one minute you're out...

Bag Envy - Which Handbag to choose?

I am sure we have all heard that we women dont really dress for men but we do it for other women. It is our way of impressing the competition and maybe in one way or another unsettling the competition as a way of leveraging this to balance the scales our way. So in the attempt to impress other women with our incredible yet unattainable sense of style we know that we can always rely on our trusted weapons - bags and shoes. Really when you spell it all out this clearly it seems a little strange that men still don't understand our need for shoes and bags.

With handbags being such a part of our armour - after all they will never make you look fat - it is only a matter of time before we girls start scanning other women's handbags and becoming every more jealous. I call it bag-envy and let's be honest I am sure we have all had a case of this rather contagious illness. You see another woman on the street and catch a glimpse of her amazing bag and realise there is a 3 year waiting list and then there it is bag envy. Apparently men are catching on this, they now can spot the one woman checking the handbag on the other woman out. And it is not pretty. So now as more and more women are becoming aware of special brands in the handbagging craft it seems that there is more ground to be envious of.

But dont worry just because some other girl is jealous of your handbag it is really a compliment to your taste and your own style.

Hermes Birkin Bag Source: www.bagbliss.com

Choosing the right handbag can be tricky - are the handles the right length - nothing looks more cheap than too long handles - is the leather soft  - is the colour warm and rich full of depth - is it overtly branded (if that is what you are looking for) or subtle that only the insiders recognise. The wonderful thing for all us women is the variety of choices available out there. So much more than just shoulder, clutch or arm bag - think tote, hold-all, oversized, small, cross-body, chain link, embellished, canvas, leather, fabric, suede, metallic, neon, oh my. So many options picking that one that is for you might just be impossible. So embrace the right to choose and choose often for every reason you can think of.

And when you do get those envious stares and glares - enjoy it - you obviously made the right choice!

Elegant Travel - does it still exist?

So here I am all packed and ready to go but isn’t part of the fun of travelling the preparation and getting there. Not in my case.

This time for a change I didn’t go for comfort gear – after all recent experiences has shown me you never know who you might run into so a little effort never hurt anyone. But in retrospect that might not have been the best choice … My maxi dress flowing, sunnies at the ready, handbag perched, handluggage at bay for all those duty free snags and that all overpowering case. It is truly a good thing I didn’t decide to totter on my mega heels or this would have been a certain recipe for disaster. No in my case I went for retro sensibility in my Superga trainers and still manage to take a little tumble when training to get on the train.

Then it dawned on me – maybe the days of elegant travel are behind us or just left to the lucky few like VB that can totter a few magic metres from car to gate. But those of us who slum it (i.e. carry our own luggage) sensible dressing might just be wiser. I have to lift, manoeuvre and stride to get to my travel destination and that just means 11 in Loubis are wishful thinking. But I will keep trying maybe it is a art to be perfected of time or maybe it is just all about the preparation. Note to self for elegant travel – book a care service otherwise take it on the chin and smile – hopefully you are off to somewhere nice. Safe travels.

Team Good Guy

Let's be honest most of us don't set out to be heartbreakers. There is no fun in hurting someone's feelings and it takes just your first heartache to understand that. Because that's when we meet them - the bad guys...

My first heartache was an odd experience. It was only after a few weeks of dating and my first instinct was to ask my dad to take me shopping. It was actually a lovely father - daughter moment and my dad did have some creative fashion style-  I wonder if there is a link there... I came out of the experience stronger. Appreciative of my dad and that he just wanted to cheer up his little girl. But all his protective intentions couldnt protect the future to come...

More heartache was sure to follow  - the bad guy, the unattainable guy, the taken guy, the tough guy, the mean guy and heartbreaker guy so many to choose from. So why is that only now looking back does one recognize the good guys. If I could ask for better vision it would be recognize the good guys while they are in front of you instead of when you have chased them away. Chasing them away now that is what I have been really good at.

In my insecurity, uncertainty, and inexperience I was badly behaved. Now looking back I do have to laugh at my sillyness but I was also really lucky recently that I had the chance to apologize for my not so nice way of acting. It was liberately to be honest - not that in man in question cared less but maybe that wasnt the point.

So when I saw an ex today - one of the good guys - it made me realise two things. First of all, thank you to all the good guys we need you out there. The bad guy is only sexy for so long - you are the keepers. Secondly, sorry I was too young to realise but if you are with the love of your life than that was the road to take and finally -  Ladies if you have better vision than I do than embrace it, go with your feelings, and let the good guy win.

I think good guys should win - I am team good guy!

PS I didnt manage to speak to the ex - it took me far too long to make the connection and there was a rush of panic ... why am I wearing flats the one moment when slimming height would have been good. Sighhhh.